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Now I have more short souls to avenge. You traveled a long way to slay my favorite brigade of Stormgate Guards, Mr. Ranger. So what do we do now? I have some thoughts, but none of them are Ranger-friendly. Lots of stabby stabby mixed with a little bit more stabby. And then some death. It's a rough outline, but we can fill in the details as we go. Open to ideas.
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To be fair, TPM had it about right. I almost felt guilty for attacking.....almost. I thought I would share just how lopsided this battle was.
_______________________________________________________________________________
When the sun had risen to its highest point, the Ranger army group rushed to attack
the defensive position of the Halfling brigade commanded by Commander (Redacted).
Being surprised by the sudden onset of battle due to the fact that the Stormgate Brigade
had been drinking and whoring all night, the defender's leaders were unorganized in
issuing orders and the troops were greatly demoralized that diminished their defensive
capabilities. Add to this the fact that they were still drunk and entered the battle with a
mug in hand, and there really wasn't much doubt that this battle was going to leave
them with more than just a hangover. Holding that their nation had declared the
Halfling to be an enemy of their kingdom's ideals, the Ranger troops were clearly anxious
for battle and had their morale raised as they prepared to battle their declared enemy!
The Ranger group proudly led the Rangers. The Halfling fielded its pride: Stormgate Group.
As the attackers advanced through the high plains, the battle began......and ended.
- Long Range Missilers -
Long range missilers from both sides joined the fray and fired their arrows. The Ranger
forces claimed tremendous losses upon the Halfling lines in return, the Halfling claimed
minor damage against themselves. Being drunk had a hung impact on their accuracy and
their ability. Many Halflings fell to friendly fire and some even feel on their own arrows by
accident.
- Conclusion -
Final retreat proved impossible: the Halfling force was too drunk and too disorganized, it was
destroyed! Halfling casualties were put at 50% but due to their stature of being half men,
this meant all troops perished! In a setback, the Halfling Commander (Redacted)
died of his wounds. Ranger casualties were put at 0.09% and this was due to a young horse
that freaked out at the high pitched screams that came from the halflings as they ran around
filling each other with arrows. This young stallion bolted throwing its rider and trampling
through the ranks of the Ranger Infantry. All Ranger leaders survived the battle. All the Ranger
wizards survived the fray. The troops are eager for more victories: morale is up thanks the all
laughter had during this 2-minute battle!
_____________________________________________________________________________________
As you can see, this battle was not exactly what one would call a battle persay. But then again, who would turn away the chance to blood some young troops against those legendary Halfing Stormguard Troops when given the chance.
Lord of the Pub Crawl!
Ashgar the Bloodthirsty.
My blood, your blood, what difference does it make!
Time will tell.................
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Well, we don't exactly call it "whoring" where we're from. Show some respect to Mrs. Ranger. She was very accommodating while showing us around her... region... before things got crazy and she lost all control. Apparently half a man is double the average Ranger. I'm not sure I follow the math, but she kept reinforcing it quite vocally.
You can see the results here:
Triumvia Is now uncontrolled [Orgy].
But hey, really good job with the troops thing. We'll try to pillage more quietly this month out of respect for our fallen heroes. Also, if/when you come back, can you bring some advil? I think I threw out my back.
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hey all
anyone having trouble logging into the orders subbmission?
I get two messages, failed to retrieve creditials or
403 forbidden, ive tried from 2 diff computers
