195 - Forum Diplomacy Steel Rex

[HeadHoncho]

OOC: Just a note offering an opinion (not directed at anyone specifically) that it would be a real shame to see four Kingdoms (albeit one sheerly for hire) going after WI all at once, even in this format.

[Thudargh]

DW -> UN

Master of Shadows,

I had hoped that my patronage of your people in the Mountains might have offered me some protection against furnishing all the lords private information of my kingdom. Indeed, that patronage is worth more than 3k gold a month, isn't it?

Given that the locations of the emissaries you've divulged have changed or are no longer with me there isn't much harm done, however any further release of information and you may wish to promptly evacuate your town in the Mountains.

King Oban

(UN->DW)
Great King of the Dwarves,

While I am a master of secrets, I am unable to read minds.  If you wished to parley the unmolestation of my town into a Chlamydia contract, you should have said something.  Ultimately, such a parley would have failed.  I applaud and respect your attempt to extort services from me - unfortunately, succumbing to such extortion would likely be my death warrant.  If it became known that my services could be procured without paying gold, why would anyone ever pay me?  It is quite ironic that an extortionist can never succumb to extortion.

I knew that releasing your information risked my town when I released it.  Should you decide to take it, there is nothing I can do to prevent it.  All I would do is declare you ineligible for Chlamydia services until reparations are made.  Whether that threat is potent or empty, persuasive or unpersuasive, only time will tell.

Agent of Chaos

[Vulkar]

DW -> UN

Master of Shadows,

I'm at fault for not having sought agreement with you as I should have done. Again, I take no offense, you are leveraging your strengths as you said you would. However, I shall restate that if you divulge further Dwarven secrets, or set your agents upon me, the protection and peace that I accord your people in the mountains shall cease. I don't construe this as extortion as I'm not demanding any benefit from you, only that you refrain from undertaking harmful acts against my kingdom. Fair or not, my military has been given explicit instructions in the matter.

Concerning your services, I don't wish to be one of only a few kingdoms not availing myself of them. Until further notice I'll pay your asking price for any wizards slain of any Kingdom except RA, DA or DW, and that is on top of what bounty any other kingdom establishes. These arcane devils are evil and are a blight on our land.

King Oban

[HeadHoncho]

GN-UN

Shadow Master,

This is not the first time that the Dwarves have asked you for services that I believe are beyond your usual scope. With that said, of course, you are free to act or not as you see fit, but without the Dwarves binding a specific target, it prevents the opportunity for, say, a well-heeled, long-nosed gentlegnome like myself to defeat the bid.

Accordingly, I will simply say that in the event you are ever tempted to take a general contract against me, I would appreciate the opportunity to counter. Alternatively, to the extent the Dwarves do not retract their general contract to exclude me, I would be interested in some very specific hiring against the Dwarves, specifically.

Your Friend in Clarity,
Bottlenose

[Netstrider]

WA -> UN

My deepest apologies (not that you care about apologies), but I must rescind my offer to pay this turn for Chlamydia. As you are aware, my cash flow is somewhat constrained as the large fellows still hold a significant stake in Amberland. I simply could not afford the payment this turn.

I will just have to hope that I can get Chlamydia for free somewhere. I'm sure that will be difficult in the extreme.

Red

[Netstrider]

WA -> DW

Now we are getting close to fighting words. First off, my noble wizards are not evil. They are honorable and upright citizens. Although I understand why you can't understand them - higher order thinking can be difficult to comprehend for someone so "earth bound".

Second off, if we see that you are paying someone to slay any wizard belonging to my kingdom then you can expect a visit from his fellows in fairly short order. We will treat such an action as an immediate and deliberate act of war.

Don't mess with Red.

Red

[Thudargh]

DW -> UN

Master of Shadows,

I'm at fault for not having sought agreement with you as I should have done. Again, I take no offense, you are leveraging your strengths as you said you would. However, I shall restate that if you divulge further Dwarven secrets, or set your agents upon me, the protection and peace that I accord your people in the mountains shall cease. I don't construe this as extortion as I'm not demanding any benefit from you, only that you refrain from undertaking harmful acts against my kingdom. Fair or not, my military has been given explicit instructions in the matter.

Concerning your services, I don't wish to be one of only a few kingdoms not availing myself of them. Until further notice I'll pay your asking price for any wizards slain of any Kingdom except RA, DA or DW, and that is on top of what bounty any other kingdom establishes. These arcane devils are evil and are a blight on our land.

King Oban

(UN->DW)
Great King of the Dwarves,

I shall certainly send you an invoice for every wizard slain, excluding any employed by yourself, the Dark Elves or the Rangers.  I appreciate your business.

Agent of Chaos

[Thudargh]

GN-UN

Shadow Master,

This is not the first time that the Dwarves have asked you for services that I believe are beyond your usual scope.  With that said, of course, you are free to act or not as you see fit, but without the Dwarves binding a specific target, it prevents the opportunity for, say, a well-heeled, long-nosed gentlegnome like myself to defeat the bid.

Accordingly, I will simply say that in the event you are ever tempted to take a general contract against me, I would appreciate the opportunity to counter.  Alternatively, to the extent the Dwarves do not retract their general contract to exclude me, I would be interested in some very specific hiring against the Dwarves, specifically.

Your Friend in Clarity,
Bottlenose

(UN->GN)
Grand Alchemist,

I will most certainly provide you the opportunity to counter any contract placed against you, as I would for any other kingdom of Alamaze - even those that may wrong me.  It is a secret hope of mine to one day profit from a bidding war over my services.  As for specific hiring against the Dwarves(or any others you may have in mind), I am prepared to act on those specifics once they are available.

Agent of Chaos

[Thudargh]

WA -> UN

My deepest apologies (not that you care about apologies), but I must rescind my offer to pay this turn for Chlamydia. As you are aware, my cash flow is somewhat constrained as the large fellows still hold a significant stake in Amberland. I simply could not afford the payment this turn.

I will just have to hope that I can get Chlamydia for free somewhere. I'm sure that will be difficult in the extreme.

Red

(UN->WA)
Magus of Fire,

My purse weeps at this news, but I understand that gold does not miraculously appear when wanted.  As it turns out, I do not currently possess any information about you that has not already been released so this circumstance will not have an immediate negative impact to you.  Of course, this will not remain true indefinitely and my purse remains hopeful that your cash flow will improve before that changes.

Agent of Chaos

[DuPont]

TR-DW
Big Chief No Fart is happy to share the conquest of the Mists with you. We see one town so close to you, you could stand on the mountains and piss down on it. We are currently on the most southern of his pop centers and plan to stomp some more next turn. Also, populations centers on the main section of the Northern Mists would make good targets for you as well.