195 - Forum Diplomacy Steel Rex

[HeadHoncho]

GN-EL

To Laerith Vhatha'Lil, Voice and Eyes of the Most High Elven Queen,

From one humble diplomatic liaison to another, I, Bottlenose, bring you greetings and goodwill from the Gnomish Alchemical Monarchy! I feel a kinship with you, being of no particular noble house, and yet with great hopes and aspirations, not simply for myself and my family, but much more importantly, for my people who mean the world to me.

As a fellow demi-human race of ancient and esteemed lineage, we have another kinship with each other. Indeed, we share that history even with the Dwarves, and although I have reached out to my past enemy with an olive branch of peace, there has been no response from him. Given your own penchant for reconciliation, mediation, and amity among all such peoples, I hope you will join me in expressing dismay at this sullen Dwarven silence, and add your voice to mine in clamoring for peace.

Toward that end, I would like to propose a voting alliance on the High Council, that we would vote in favor of each other's issues. I would be willing to further agree to favorable trading rates during your winter and my summer, as I don't believe you've received confirmation of your fine proposals to others in this regard?

Please let me know what you think. We are also open to an even more expansive relationship, should that be your desire.

Sincerely,
Bottlenose, for the Gnomes

[Jumpingfist]

AN - UN

As you can see I have made a reoccurring deposit of good will into your coffers. 3k should go towards the Chalmydia package and the rest to be saved until needed. I had another idea that I could increase again by the same amount and perhaps purchase a new package.

AIDS package - have your very own agent to call your own. Pay 1.5 x the cost of anything the agent does and he yours to command. To start the package it will cost 7500 to hire a new agent and then 9000 to bring him up to level 4. Then either give him a mission or train at the same 1.5x cost which for most missions is actually cheaper. Any turn this agent is not paid for he is at the disposal of the highest bidder. Any golds stole 1/2 will go toward future missions. Stolen artifact would be traded at a rate of 10k gold.

What do you think of the AIDS package. Something that could work?

[Vulkar]

DW-GN

To Bottlenose of the Gnomish Alchemical Monarcy,

I regret my earlier silence and wish you to know that this wasn't intended as a slight and shouldn't reflect any insistence that past hostilities can't be amended. My non-response was solely the result of an absence of adequate time to reply and the prioritization I placed on communications with other races closer to my own. There are several others that I regret not yet having reached out to as well. At this time I bear no malice towards the Gnome people and won't act against your folk unless given reason to, which I think is unlikely for a long time to come.

I wouldn't expect either of us to support each other on the high council with increasing influence given the detrimental effect to the other, however I'm fine with maintaining a neutral position and abstaining from such motions, and will gladly consider cooperation with other matters.

Welcome to the high council.

King Oban Hammerforge

[Netstrider]

AN - UN

As you can see I have made a reoccurring deposit of good will into your coffers.   3k should go towards the Chalmydia package and the rest to be saved until needed.   I had another idea that I could increase again by the same amount and perhaps purchase a new package.

AIDS package - have your very own agent to call your own.  Pay 1.5 x the cost of anything the agent does and he yours to command.  To start the package it will cost 7500 to hire a new agent and then 9000 to bring him up to level 4.   Then either give him a mission or train at the same 1.5x cost which for most missions is actually cheaper.   Any turn this agent is not paid for he is at the disposal of the highest bidder.   Any golds stole 1/2 will go toward future missions.  Stolen artifact would be traded at a rate of 10k gold.

What do you think of the AIDS package.   Something that could work?

OOC

Wait, how are you doing that. I thought you had to ally to do a unilateral transfer??

[HeadHoncho]

GN-DW

To the Greatly Respected Peacemaker, King Oban Hammerforge the Great,

Bells are ringing in our capital as our people celebrate the ending of the Enduring Grudge and Bitter Feud! We look forward to peace in our time, and we have you to thank for it, Great King.

We gladly agree to abstain from your High Council issues, even as you abstain from ours. We also propose a formal non-aggression pact through the end of spring, summer, or next autumn, whatever you prefer. No offense will be taken if you prefer not to enter into such formalities, we simply propose it here to attempt to build on our momentum.

Yours in Reconciliation,
Bottlenose, for the Gnomes

[HeadHoncho]

GN-RA

My Dear Lord Lothaedus,

It was a true pleasure to meet you personally at the wedding this past month. May your daughter and my King's son have many happy years ahead of them, years of peace and prosperity!

On another note, per your request at the wedding, our guild of independent Gnomish scribes and barristers have examined the agreement you have with the Dark Elves. In the guild's unified opinion, your interpretation is correct, and you did indeed include an explicit "carve-out" in the event of need for regional control.

We stand ready to vouchsafe your honor with anyone, should the need arise. Not that we expect that it should, given the Rangers' already impeccable reputation in these matters.

Yours Truly,
Bottlenose, for the Gnomes

[Jumpingfist]

AN - UN

As you can see I have made a reoccurring deposit of good will into your coffers.   3k should go towards the Chalmydia package and the rest to be saved until needed.   I had another idea that I could increase again by the same amount and perhaps purchase a new package.

AIDS package - have your very own agent to call your own.  Pay 1.5 x the cost of anything the agent does and he yours to command.  To start the package it will cost 7500 to hire a new agent and then 9000 to bring him up to level 4.   Then either give him a mission or train at the same 1.5x cost which for most missions is actually cheaper.   Any turn this agent is not paid for he is at the disposal of the highest bidder.   Any golds stole 1/2 will go toward future missions.  Stolen artifact would be traded at a rate of 10k gold.

What do you think of the AIDS package.   Something that could work?

OOC

Wait, how are you doing that. I thought you had to ally to do a unilateral transfer??

OOC  I am not transferring anything.  I am casting a spell 603 to be exact.   

[Netstrider]

AN - UN

As you can see I have made a reoccurring deposit of good will into your coffers.   3k should go towards the Chalmydia package and the rest to be saved until needed.   I had another idea that I could increase again by the same amount and perhaps purchase a new package.

AIDS package - have your very own agent to call your own.  Pay 1.5 x the cost of anything the agent does and he yours to command.  To start the package it will cost 7500 to hire a new agent and then 9000 to bring him up to level 4.   Then either give him a mission or train at the same 1.5x cost which for most missions is actually cheaper.   Any turn this agent is not paid for he is at the disposal of the highest bidder.   Any golds stole 1/2 will go toward future missions.  Stolen artifact would be traded at a rate of 10k gold.

What do you think of the AIDS package.   Something that could work?

OOC

Wait, how are you doing that. I thought you had to ally to do a unilateral transfer??

OOC  I am not transferring anything.  I am casting a spell 603 to be exact.   

I see, thanks!

[DuPont]

TR-EL
Big Chief No Fart heard a disturbance outside his throne room. This wasn't the ordinary clanging of construction as the builders were turning his seat of power into something more fitting a king, it was more the raucous din of a party. Noxious Vapus rushed in, clearly upset. Before he could say anything, Captain Stonmor pushed in with several of his officers.
"Big Chief, we bring you prisoner! We bring you butterfly woman!" Two big, burly trolls came in, holding a tall, skinny elf, who was doing her best to look dignified and mostly failing.
"You IDIOTS!" Big Chief No Fart roard. "I said no wanted PRISONERS!"
"Oh," Captain Stonmor said. "We supposed to kill her then? Rape first?"
"No! You Rockhead! You Frog Penis! You Mossbrain! You supposed to let her go!"
"Let her go? But she try to escape from village..."
"She SUPPOSED to escape! Leave her. Get out! No promotion for you!"
The captain and his men shuffled out, a lot less happy than when they came in. Noxious Vapus moved to take charge of the disheveled elf.
"Sorry," Big Chief No Fart said. "We said we would take village. Troops need fighting practice. We no think any big Elves left in village. We send message to Butterfly Queen. She send one gold, we ransom you. Until then, you have nice room here in palace."

[VballMichael]

Hilarious and informative, all at the same time. Very nice.