195 - Forum Diplomacy Steel Rex

[Jumpingfist]

GN-UN

Shadow Master,

Understood.  I hear that company has a farming subsidiary which is Very Industrious, and moreover much less threatening to your politicians, perhaps, than a Giant village.

This month, I intend to search nearly the entire southern mountain range, the northern desert, and some of the central plains.  If you could finish off the eastern desert and the stub of plains to the desert's east, as well as the eastern and central forest and the eastern and central swamp, I believe that should probably leave us in very good shape.

At your leisure, could you resend the current agent availability for this upcoming month?  Many thanks, my friend!

Very Truly Yours,
Bottlenose, for the Gnomes

GI ----> GN&UN


Any issue with me using Zoltan Industries as a way point to get my emissaries out of the corner of Runnimede?  Are there any army's stationed at that Town that would prevent such travel?

AN - GI

Sorry to be lissoning in but you can use RG and even take the village.   I am fine to take the other I found.   The other is closer to the great circle of the Ancients and would be a good vacation location for our tired nobles.

[HeadHoncho]

GN-WA

Red Mage,

You honor me by calling me Lord, as I am merely a diplomatic liaison, but I will take the honorific in the spirit it was intended.

And speaking of spirits, I am enclosing a bottle of our finest, distilled from the sweat and tears of our people, since you seem to have such a fine appreciation for our unique effluvia. It is quite a rare and expensive vintage, but more to the point... we hope it may assist your research efforts, which we welcome.

This is especially because it seems likely that we Gnomes, in our prosperity and trade, will be far more abundant across the land than in past eras, and we wish that experience to be as pleasant as possible for all. Based on your words, we are confident you embrace that prospect, and indeed, look forward to an in-person introduction at some point in the future.

In the meantime, thank you for your present-term assurances of peace in Runnimede, and we offer you the exact same assurances in Amberland.

Cordially,
Bottlenose, for the Gnomes

[Jumpingfist]

AN - UN

Would you have a PC my wizards could visit. I would like to offer my payment for services in the form of permenantly increasing the gold production of a PC in you region where it is better protected.

[Drogo]

GN-UN

Shadow Master,

Understood.  I hear that company has a farming subsidiary which is Very Industrious, and moreover much less threatening to your politicians, perhaps, than a Giant village.

This month, I intend to search nearly the entire southern mountain range, the northern desert, and some of the central plains.  If you could finish off the eastern desert and the stub of plains to the desert's east, as well as the eastern and central forest and the eastern and central swamp, I believe that should probably leave us in very good shape.

At your leisure, could you resend the current agent availability for this upcoming month?  Many thanks, my friend!

Very Truly Yours,
Bottlenose, for the Gnomes

GI ----> GN&UN


Any issue with me using Zoltan Industries as a way point to get my emissaries out of the corner of Runnimede?  Are there any army's stationed at that Town that would prevent such travel?

AN - GI

Sorry to be lissoning in but you can use RG and even take the village.   I am fine to take the other I found.   The other is closer to the great circle of the Ancients and would be a good vacation location for our tired nobles.

GI---->AN


The problem with the village is that I cannot move there this turn do to the GN army.  But I can wait so I will plan to take RG.  This will allow you to keep the location of the other village as your secret.


Also, If you find one of your consuls in Arcania and are able to improve the peoples favor toward the GI kingdom I'm sure some recompense can be found.

[gkmetty]

The Dwarven Lords of the Talking Mountains

The council chambers had been quiet for what seemed an eternity as the King pondered the communications being received by other races and the news emanating from the distant lands of Alamaze. He had earlier received his monthly reports from his advisers and seemed to be in an ebullient spirit, however he now seemed somewhat perturbed by the messages delivered by riders and ravens from distant lands.

"Dire news, your grace?", inquired Karizan.

The King looked up with an expression that might have expressed anger, were it not for the slight smile that betrayed his amusement with something.

"The Drow have proclaimed our town in the Steppes to have no value to us, and they've given us four seasons to vacate it."

Some mild laughter mixed with murmurs filled the chambers as the King's privy council waited anxiously for his anticipated orders.

"That's a curious manner in which to open a dialogue with one's neighbour," started Count Oraz, "I suppose the Drow wishes to make acquaintance with our dear General Roridon." General Roridon smiled, his hand loosely caressing the hilt of his sword. "However, it may be premature to assume an aggressive posture, as with most nations they are only looking to consolidate control of a region. The Drow could be a dangerous foe, or an important ally, we must tread carefully."

"The Drow King has offered us his town in the Mountains in exchange," the King replied, "and I suspect intended no offense. Fetch my quill and prepare a rider to make haste to the Steppes."

DW-DA
Lord of the Dark Elves,

If any Dwarven possessions are to be peacefully ceded in Alamaze it shall only be through negotiation, not unilateral action. We will accord your people in the Mountains the same respect. As it stands, we see value in holding our town in the Steppes, and any unilateral action to take it will be an act of war that will bring forth the full might of the Dwarven army. If you're able to accept our continued presence in the Steppes then you will have taken a good first step forward towards a peaceful coexistence with the Dwarves.

King Oban Hammerforge of the Talking Mountains

King Oban, your Mountains are rich and your armies are hungry.  We have offered you a solution to help alleviate this hunger but you request to keep a strong hold in a realm that clearly does not suit your people.

 You have not offered a reason for keeping an outpost within striking distance of my people so I can only assume you want to be able to attack our peace loving subjects.  I cannot allow such an attack. War at this time is not wise but it is better to declare war then be faced with a surprise attack later.

We request that you reconsider your threat of war but if you cannot see the wisdom in our proposal then our kingdoms will be in conflict.

[Thudargh]

WA -> GN

Lord Bottlenose,

I would say that you are being thin-skinned about the communications you might have been eavesdropping on, but everyone knows that Gnomes have rather thick and oily skin. And smelly.

But no, the Red Warlock has no intentions whatsoever of launching any efforts in Runimede. The whole region has an odor to it that we find quite offensive. I have initiated a research project at the College of Magic to create an effective disinfectant for odeur de Gnome, but to date there have no breakthroughs. So you are positively safe for now - at least from us. Can't speak for the Trolls or Giants - races that have proven in the past that they really have no ability to distinguish disagreeable odors.


WA -> UN

Hail Shadow Master!

We completely understand the distasteful situation that you find yourself in and can only assume that you are holding your noses and doing whatever you have to for short term security. If you are ever in need of a town or village in a fresher smelling region please let us know. I'm sure we can make accomodations.

P.S. You'll be the first to know if we make a breakthrough on that disinfectant.

WA -> DW

You'll be the second to know.

The Red Mage

(UN)
Hail to you, Magus of Fire,


I appreciate your sympathetic attitude toward our nasal well-being, but I can also assure you it is unnecessary.  Unfortunate reactions to noxious odors is bad for business, so every agent in my employee routinely interacts with excrement demons as part of their training.  Once you've smelt that, every other creature in Alamaze smells as sweet as a rose.


But far be it for my olfactory robustness to preclude business between us!  I would be most interested in a town or village if you have one available for my procurement.  This would avail you of our Chlamydia product, thus providing you with immunity from bored Underworld agents practicing kidnapping or theft.


CEO of ACME, Shadow Master of the Underworld

[Thudargh]

GN-UN

Shadow Master,

Understood.  I hear that company has a farming subsidiary which is Very Industrious, and moreover much less threatening to your politicians, perhaps, than a Giant village.

This month, I intend to search nearly the entire southern mountain range, the northern desert, and some of the central plains.  If you could finish off the eastern desert and the stub of plains to the desert's east, as well as the eastern and central forest and the eastern and central swamp, I believe that should probably leave us in very good shape.

At your leisure, could you resend the current agent availability for this upcoming month?  Many thanks, my friend!

Very Truly Yours,
Bottlenose, for the Gnomes

GI ----> GN&UN


Any issue with me using Zoltan Industries as a way point to get my emissaries out of the corner of Runnimede?  Are there any army's stationed at that Town that would prevent such travel?

AN - GI

Sorry to be lissoning in but you can use RG and even take the village.   I am fine to take the other I found.   The other is closer to the great circle of the Ancients and would be a good vacation location for our tired nobles.

(UN)
Great Titan,


I have no issue with your use of Zoltan Industries for travel purposes and there are no Underworld troops stationed there.


On a completely unrelated note, could I possibly interest you in purchasing our Chlamydia product?  For 1000 gold per month, you gain immunity from bored Underworld agents engaging in one of their hobbies - the kidnapping of emissaries, for example.


CEO of ACME, Shadow Master of the Underworld

[Thudargh]

AN - UN

Would you have a PC my wizards could visit.  I would like to offer my payment for services in the form of permenantly increasing the gold production of a PC in you region where it is better protected.

(UN)
Archon,


I have it on good authority that there is a Very Industrious farming community located in Runnimede that will soon be under my control.  Encouraging them to farm gold would be an excellent way to provide payment for services.


CEO of ACME, Shadow Master of the Underworld

[Drogo]

GI ----> UN


Our treasury is quite taxed at the moment with our relation to the south.  Please allow us a few turns to get back in the black in our ledgers.

[HeadHoncho]

But far be it for my olfactory robustness to preclude business between us!  I would be most interested in a town or village if you have one available for my procurement.  This would avail you of our Chlamydia product, thus providing you with immunity from bored Underworld agents practicing kidnapping or theft.

GN-WA

Red Mage,

In light of our newly-established detente, I thought I would chime in here and offer my hearty endorsement of my dear colleague's product! A village -- for example, even one in a region where you were not focused on taking control of, that has already been discovered by at least one other Kingdom -- is a small price to pay for such peace of mind.

This would be especially true if, again, by way of example only, a Kingdom had sent both its Duke and Count to a certain coveted and centrally-located and therefore readily-accessible city, without any opposition, thus ensuring its control this very month... assuming a lack of Sleep spells by any troublesome interlopers, that is. But that control would also expose it to possible theft right away!

I am speaking sheerly hypothetically, of course.

Hope this helps!

Cordially,
Bottlenose, for the Gnomes, and Five-Star Reviewer of ACME